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Joke of the Day

"Where does a general keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"There we were, two men against an army... Boy, did we beat the hell out of those two guys."

"Have you guys heard about the new restaurant on the moon? Early critics say the food is good, but there's no atmosphere."

"American political party symbols are spot on... Trump is the elephant in the room, and the DNC is full of jackasses!"

"I was at a urinal when I realized standing to my left was Muhammad Ali and to my right was Michael J. Fox... bad day to wear sandals."

"Im hosting a charity event tonight for people who cant reach orgasm If you can't cum let me know."

"Obi-wan: You look different. Vader: You left me burning alive in lava with no arms and legs. Obi-wan: I thought maybe you got a haircut."

"I work at a restaurant and one of the chefs there is both dyslexic and epileptic. Ended up sending out a chicken seizure salad."

"Q: Did you hear about the robbery at the flower shop? A: It was a violet crime."

"That awkward moment when you accidently knock a 90 year old over trying to get to the buffet first."