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Joke of the Day
"I'm good at telling dad jokes Hi good at telling dad jokes, I'm dad."
Next Joke
"Idea: Breathalyzer tests at the airport, to make sure you're drunk enough"
"Can you believe they're still together after all that crap?!? (Who?) MY BUTTCHEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Well this is new. A pigeon just shit on my phone as I was texting."
"What did The Zodiac Killer say before killing his victims? ""You're Cruz'n for a bruising""."
"My dentist reminded me of my wife's sensitive gag reflex. We laughed & laughed. Then I remembered that my wife & I have different dentists."
"This relationship is over. Over. ~dumping someone via walkie talkie."
"If more than one mouse is mice, then more than one Spouse is Spice.'"
"I wonder what my future wife is doing right now.. Hopefully modeling."
"No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber."