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Joke of the Day

"Can you believe they're still together after all that crap?!? (Who?) MY BUTTCHEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Serial Killer... The police have caught a serial killer with a really bad stammer. They said it'll be a while before he finishes his sentence."

"What do you call a fat doctor? Fat with a P.H.D"

"So, I heard a celebrity was stabbed the other day... It was Reece something... Reece... Witherspoon? No, with a knife!"

"I told facebook my concerns about lack of privacy; they said they already knew how I felt about it."

"I hope my tombstone reads: Matrixed 9 out of 10 bullets."

"Why would Batman always beat Superman? because, being rich, Bruce Wayne can ride a horse properly."

"What's the difference between funny jokes, and the jokes that make always make it big on reddit? Puns. Fuck puns."

"hey it's me, the girl who just googled ""chemistry alphabet"" when i meant ""periodic table"""

"Why don't the police protest against BLM? Because they have jobs."