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Joke of the Day
"I wonder what my future wife is doing right now.. Hopefully modeling."
Next Joke
"Chinese takeout, $15.00, gas to get there, $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes. Riceless."
"""I love all quilts, regardless of quality."" - blanket statement"
"My neighbor was a vampire When I stabbed her in the heart with a wooden stake, she died."
"Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequillllaaaa"
"The mean Apple Store manager He's a real apphole."
"You can always predict what antigay protesters will say. But never how they'll spell it."
"There's a butterfly in my office and a nerf gun in my purse. Susan, clear my schedule."
"Why didn't the conspiracy theorist make his irreverently named pet sleep outside? Because 9/11 was an inside dog."
"Pro tip: most pro tips are given by amateurs."