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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend says I have a sharp tongue ... But I think she's just menstruating."

"Doctor: ""Your x-ray showed a broken rib... ... but we fixed it with Photoshop."""

"What's the difference between rubber balls and steel balls? Caitlyn Jenner doesn't like to steel balls before she comes"

"Being single at this time is not based on my wanting freedom to do what I want....It's more due to the fact that I want the freedom to not have to do what someone else wants."

"I met my town's bishop at Easter mass today but I think he might be an imposter... ... he didn't move diagonally"

"I put out a Want ad for a psychic... It said, ""You know when and where to show up. Don't be late."""

"A dead-beat Dad is on AskReddit... He opens a thread asking ""Will my father ever love me?"" He hides the child comments."

"GOD: look what I created [points to clouds] ANGEL: what am I lookin at? GOD: Is it a bunny? A man face? It's up to you! ANGEL: are you high?"

"I'm doing interval training. It's just that the intervals are very far apart."

"I think a lot of these women are just getting pregnant for the subway seats"