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Joke of the Day

"I put out a Want ad for a psychic... It said, ""You know when and where to show up. Don't be late."""

"How to lose a gf: Gf: which of my friends would be the most fun to have a 3some with? Me: *names two of them*"

"How long does it take an Ethiopian Women to take a shit? 9 Months."

"A 'Jim's Dozen' is 11, because I take one for myself."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo pea and a chick pea? I've never had a garbanzo pea on my face."

"How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas? Deep pan, crisp and even."

"My grandpa used to say ""Don't do drugs just sell them"""

"How come men don't watch women's ice hockey? No man can handle that many periods."

"What happens when you throw a green stone into the Red Sea? It gets wet."

"as a teen did you ever steal your moms booze and fill it back up with water, or steal money out of her purse and fill it back up with water"