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Joke of the Day

"I asked a comedian what performing in the Soviet Union was like. Apparently, back then, it was all about the execution."

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"*spelling bee* Me: b-e-e Judge 1: No, sir, wait until we tell- Me: B-E-E Judge 2: I mean, he's not wrong"
"""It started out with a Kiss, how did it end up like this?""- Me, after eating an entire bag of Hershey's chocolate."
"RIP 2012 (2012-2012)"
"Slaves be like ""Oh, you worked four years for your Bachelors?"" I worked 50 for my Masters"
"Nothing says "" My divorce didn't go as planned "" quite like the guy with grocery bags hanging on the sides of his bicycles handlebars"
"I was browsing sex toys online today and was shocked to find out how much all of my wife's vibrators cost... She's sitting on a small fortune..."
"What does the Army call it's Muslim infantry units with vehicles? Mecca-nized infantry."
"Superstitions are stupid! Send this joke to ten of your friends or you will lose 100$ within the next two weeks!"
"me: so did it hurt? her: yes, a lot me: when i splashed that salsa in your eye? her: I SAID YES"