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Joke of the Day

"""It started out with a Kiss, how did it end up like this?""- Me, after eating an entire bag of Hershey's chocolate."

"Getting married is easy, staying married is hard. Just ask my girlfriend, her husband drives her crazy."

"Celebrating National Sex Day the only way I know how Not having it."

"Where do I see myself in five years? *kicks feet up on desk* Sir, does my resume list ""psychics abilities"" under skills? No. Next question."

"I give to you a joke I made up when I was seven: Why did the computer crash? Because it had a bad driver! *drops mic*"

"Terrifying to think that one puff of marijuana can transform your life into a carnival of lies & ultimately, murder."

"If you say ""cray cray"" I'm going to punch you in the ""fay fay"","

"A priest, a rabbi, a blonde and a horse all walk into a bar... The bartender looks up and says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"Why is Santa's sack so full? He only comes once a year"

"What's the best way to kill a one-legged fox? You make him run across Canada..."