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Joke of the Day

"Two deers walk out of a gay bar. And the one says to the other... ""I can't believe I blew Fifty Bucks back there!"""

"If a woman has fallen an idiot will walk by, a gentleman will help her to get up, but a real man will lie down with her."

"How many female country singers does it take to sing a Patsy Cline song? Every fucking one of them."

"You know that photo of yourself you really fucking hate, it'll look great to you in ten years time so don't delete that shit."

"This guy asked me to convert today... And I said, no, I'm happy with my current non-prophet organization"

"Whenever Barry Allen is around, everything happens in a flash"

"Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 is Dec 25"

"Did you hear about that free-range astrophysicist buffalo? His name was Neil. Neil da Grass-fed Bison."

"If I were a superhero, I'd be Pizza Man. My one-liners would be cheesy, and I'd save you in 30 min or less, or your next criminal is free."

"Just got a belly piercing. It's a mistletoe, I don't want any confusion on where I want your lips this Christmas."