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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend asked, ""Why do we always stay home for dinner and never eat out?"" Obviously if I was any good at eating out, then you wouldn't be complaining about staying home."

"Did you read the book ""The History of Glue""? I couldn't put it down!"

"Why can't you be friends with a tampon? Because they are stuck up cunts."

"Excuse me, but I feel like your eyebrows owe me an apology."

"What word that begins with ""N"" and ends with ""R"" do you never want to call a black person? Neighbor"

"What do women and modern computers have in common? Neither one will accept a 3 and a half inch floppy"

"I tried to rob a binoculars store today... But they saw me coming a mile away"

"The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar... It was tense."

"Job Interview ""It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. What is 17x19?"" ""36"" ""That's not even close!"" ""But it was quick!"""

"A gay and a lesbian are going to the airport. Who gets there first? The lesbian. She got there lickity split while the gay guy was still packing his shit."