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Joke of the Day

"Why can't gay people play poker? Because they can't keep a straight face."

"That if you love them set them free thing, what if they all come back at once"

"I saved my neighbors some money on their car insurance By totaling their car!"

"Sent him a pic and he replied ""BOOM!!"" Trying to figure out if that means he liked it or he threw himself on a grenade."

"Only real 90's kids remember being called a lazy fucking millennial"

"Diamond engagement rings are so last year. Ask for her hand in marriage by presenting her with a full tank of gas."

"Mark Zuckerberg screwed over his class mates and best friend. Do you honestly think he cares about your opinion on the new Timeline layout?"

"Just because your kid says, ""You're my hero"" does not mean you can pick them up at school wearing a cape, apparently"

"I really hope everything we know about Zombies is accurate because if they're smart I'm going to need a Plan B."

"What did the homeless men yell when they hit each other with cardboard? Pillow fight!"