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Joke of the Day

"Why hasn't the Rastafarian gone to see the barber? He's dreading it."

"Dang girl are you the American health care system because if I don't give you all my money you'd have no problem watching me die."

"Pickup lines for old people: Grandpa: Hey baby, you better call life alert, cause I've fallen for you and can't get up."

"What do you call a fake noodle? an impasta."

"What did the car-painter say to the carpenter? ""You sound just like me!"""

"Yes, 911?... Yeah, this guy is wearing green-colored skinny jeans and he has a really hot girlfriend. So do I judge him...or her?"

"'Appearances can be deceiving' said my fortune cookie message; then I realized I've cracked open a snail."

"I lost an ibuprofen under my dresser a week ago and now I'm worried the spiders are coming after me with no headaches and renewed vigor."

"Critics agree that plot considerations did not justify the near-constant nudity in your film ""How To Safely Use A Ladder In The Workplace"""

"I'm a freshman taking geometry. I can't wait to learn how to tie a hypotenoose."