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Joke of the Day

"If your PMSing wife hands you lemons, you damn well better make lemonade or else she'll stab you & squeeze lemon juice into the open wound."

Next Joke
 
"You ever seen a Polish trailer? And..here we are."
"Friend: I'm getting married! Me: Have you considered just letting a homeless man sleep on your couch, instead?"
"What's the Priest favorite breakfast? Kids."
"Absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Unless you're talking about Oreos."
"On Christmas morning I want to eat Eggs Benedict out of a hubcap. Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."
"An employee and her boss are having sex. Boss: Do you want to change positions? Employee: Uh yeah. Can I be the Assistant Manager?"
"My upstairs neighbor recently made a groundbreaking discovery... He can't fly"
"What do Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet have in common? They both had kurds in their way. (Curds in their whey.) ***This joke is phonetically superior to its' written version."
"What did the man with dyslexia do while he was at the beach? Sarah Palin"