18725

Joke of the Day

"What do Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet have in common? They both had kurds in their way. (Curds in their whey.) ***This joke is phonetically superior to its' written version."

"Two peanuts were walking down the road ...one was assaulted!"

"How does Hitler like his orange juice? Freshly squeezed."

"Did you hear about the man who invented the knock knock joke? He won the Nobel prize. (Sorry if this has been posted before, I heard it today for the first time and it made my day)"

"You're the jelly to my burger, the knife to my soup, the glitter to my sushi, and the ketchup to my icecream. My point is, you're worthless."

"My son was thrown out of school today.... for letting a girl in his class wank him off. I said ""son, that's three schools this year. Maybe teaching isn't for you"""

"I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it."

"Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws."

"If my company really wanted us to move during a fire drill, they'd lose the alarm and just announce that there's free food by the stairs."

"So Aliens Arrive ""Earth has a species with advanced warfare, they seem intelligent."" ""No, they have it aimed at themselves."""