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Joke of the Day

"What do Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet have in common? They both had kurds in their way. (Curds in their whey.) ***This joke is phonetically superior to its' written version."

"Why is tomorrow like your girlfriend. It never comes."

"Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana BATMAN! Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana BATMAN! -Me, sorting through my grandma's mail."

"Dwarf porn is a little fucked."

"*gets woken up by a tap on my shoulder* ""Daddy, how do you get yogurt out of the toaster when it's done toasting?"""

"Can someone help me, I can't remember,,, Did Sarah Jessica Parker get an Oscar for Sea Biscuit?"

"What do you call a black prince? A british tank you racist."

"What do you call your ex-girlfriend in Maryland? Old bae."

"Dad to kid: ""Connor, eat your food!"" ""Eat your food!"" ""Eat your food!"" ""Eat your food!"" Me: *turns around, eats all of kid's food*"

"Did you hear about the lady who ate her dog? She said it tasted like bark."