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Joke of the Day

"I just rode the scariest ride called SPIDER DESCENDING FROM THE CEILING OF MY CAR INTO MY LAP WHILE DRIVING 70 MPH"

"What would you get if you crossed a dinosaur with a pig? Jurassic pork!"

"What do you call someone who reads in the sun? Well Red."

"The shame of my ancestry weighs heaviest on my soul any time a white person asks if they can get a ""what what""."

"""So, doctor, do I have cancer or not?"" ""Oh Jesus Christ, holy shit, tons of it,"" said the doctor to Martin Shkreli."

"What's the difference between a redneck and a gay man? A redneck marries his sister. A gay man marries a brotha."

"My roommate is a chemistry major, and plays the organ.. One could say that he's an organic chemist."

"The biggest lie ""I have read the terms and conditions"""

"Q: Why did the computer squeak? A: Someone stepped on the mouse."

"What is a euphemism for gay wizard sex? Taking it in the Dumbledore."