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Joke of the Day

"Women who brag about multi-tasking should chill out. There is nothing cool about doing 3 things wrong at once"

"What do you call a morbidly obese hippy? Tie Dyeabetes"

"""Study: Child dies in portable pool every 5 days"" SOMEBODY HELP THAT DAMN KID"

"I imagine the hardest part about being vegan is getting up before sunrise to milk all of those almonds."

"The barman says, ""We don't serve time travelers in here"". A time traveler walks into a bar."

"So i asked this girl to have phone sex with me.. She said she cant, because she has Virgin Mobile.."

"If you're an astronaut.. and you don't end every relationship with ""I need space"" then you're just wasting your time"

"Your liver is the only organ that can regenerate itself. I believe that calls for a drink... Cheers!"

"Guy having sex says ""damn, there should be a law against sex this good"" To which the girl replies ""I think there is daddy"""

"Why don't baseball players get much action? Because they have foul balls."