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Joke of the Day
"Why don't baseball players get much action? Because they have foul balls."
Next Joke
"I hate when someone wants to have sex with me for superficial reasons before they even know how funny."
"Samsung is permanently stopping production of the Galaxy Note7. At least it went out with a bang."
"Sorry to text you so late but can your dog come over?"
"I pulled the shell off of my snail to make him faster Turned out it had the opposite effect, now he's a little sluggish."
"HALT! Hammerzeit!"
"Watch it bro, your mouth's writing checks your body can't cash. Because you write really sloppy with the pen in your mouth. Seriously, wtf?"
"Why is the UK suddenly a happy place? Because now they too have a day to light fireworks on!"
"If you're a girl on twitter and you have no pictures of yourself, I'm automatically assuming you're a cat that learned to use a computer."
"What did the neckbeard say when he looked in the mirror? M'self"