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Joke of the Day

"The failure of my business confounds me. It just doesn't make cents."

"I bought a new Japanese car. I turned on the radio... I don't understand a word they're saying."

"Breaking news: We can all tell Kanye something Because we're still waiting for him to get his money right"

"A joke There was a dragon one time who didn't care about shit. It was real mad a lot. It said, ""fuck you"" to just about every one. Except for this one guy who he kinda liked."

"I just bought a tent with a toilet in it Shit's intense"

"Joke (for adults) Okay, so I'm going to tell you- HEY LOOK THOSE IDIOTS THE U.S. GOVERNMENT JUST LOWERED OUR TAXES"

"boys love mysterious girls so don't be afraid to show up to dates with a shovel and a smear of fresh blood on your collar"

"Me: I need a raise Secretly-an-Alien Manager: Yes, it is good to, want to exchange labor for the right amount of delicious green rectangles"

"What 3 candies do you find in school? Redhots, DumDums, and smarties."

"I realized I left my tuba in the car with the doors unlocked... I raced back as quick as I could and sure enough when I looked inside, there were two tubas."