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Joke of the Day

"Me: I need a raise Secretly-an-Alien Manager: Yes, it is good to, want to exchange labor for the right amount of delicious green rectangles"

"This guy tried to sell me a casket. I told him, ""well, that's the *last* thing I'm gonna need."""

"What do gays and republicans have in common? Both are feeling a little butt hurt after yesterdays decision."

"""There"" - Where's Waldo? Cliffs Notes"

"What does Harry Potter call his penis? His Magic Johnson."

"What does an excited karate pupil say to his friend when greeting him? HIYAH!"

"i finally checked out chatroulette. i saw three fornicators, two masturbaters, and a partridge in a pear tree."

"What is the name of your friend's advisor? Budweiser"

"FDFP-What is a fish's favorite sex position? BASS TO MOUTH Made this one up, not really sure if it would work though. Ass to mouth isn't a sex position per se."

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna go ride bikes? My all time favorite joke. Sorry if it has already been posted but who has the time to browse all of r/jokes."