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Joke of the Day

"What 3 candies do you find in school? Redhots, DumDums, and smarties."

"Tell 'em how it 'tis, not how it 'twas: Edition 3. The joke used to be ""If ya lick 'er, it's quicker"". Now it's: if ya pin 'er, yer in 'er."

"What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed woman on a tricycle? Attire"

"I'll believe self-help books work when I see a bunch of them on a sane person's bookshelf."

"What sound does a Chinese roller coaster make as it goes up an incline? chink chink chink chink"

"[Takes dog to park] *waits for romantic comedy to begin"

"I take spiders outside in stead of killing them because it's not their fault that I'm scared of them. I do however, scream while doing so."

"What's the best thing about being homeless... You don't have to duck and cover during an earthquake."

"The police caught me while I was spraypainting graffiti. I tried to deny it, but the writing was already on the wall."

"I don't believe in most conspiracies....but 7-11 IS an inside job."