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Joke of the Day

"Stole my neighbors family portrait & got it tattooed on my back. Now I'm standing in their living room facing the wall 2 see if they notice."

"Black Betty An African lady named Betty came into a restaurant and asked the server, ""Is there any chicken on the menu?"" The server replied, ""No, Black Betty, it's ham or lamb."""

"He's street smart. Sesame Street smart."

"My coworkers think it's funny they have power & I don't. I think it's funny how they won't get home to enjoy it cuz their tires are slashed."

"I talk a lot of shit for someone who still uses their fingers to count."

"I always carry a flashlight with me. That way, if someone locks me in their car trunk, I can entertain myself with cool shadow puppets."

"Butt sex is a lot like spinach If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult."

"Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter."

"What human organ would survive the longest in the hunger games? The liver"

"I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday. Farcical?"