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Joke of the Day

"A joke There was a dragon one time who didn't care about shit. It was real mad a lot. It said, ""fuck you"" to just about every one. Except for this one guy who he kinda liked."

"There are dogs that can detect cancer, find missing people, detect bombs, etc. My dog rolls around in other animals feces."

"Idea: Netflix, but for pancakes. Or Blockbuster By Mail for pancakes. Even Omaha Steaks for pancak...look, my point is: mail-order pancakes."

"If I worked for the tribune... ... do you think I'd make the papers?"

"REACT [removed]"

"I tried gay phone sex last night, but I'm not sure I'm doing it right. I was the giver and it was the receiver."

"To weigh 50 kilos and say that you're fat, that is so female..."

"Car broke down. Seen enough Man vs Wild to survive. 20mins later when the tow truck showed up I was drinking urine out of a poodle's skull."

"What do you call a white woman that identifies as black? TransRachel - credit Jennie"

"Judas: Still on for friday? ""Jesus: friday?"" ""Judas: Yeah, the Last Supper."" ""Jesus: The what?"" ""Judas: Supper. Normal supper with the fellas."""