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Joke of the Day

"Dad: Why are your eyes red, son? Son: I smoke weed, dad. Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you're a faggot."

"Why was the pig in the kitchen? It was bacon."

"Its so awkward meeting new people. Especially when they go in for a handshake and you go in for an open-mouth kiss."

"Excuse me, doctor - my husband was rushed in with violent spasms in his buttocks. Where is he?"" ""ICU baby, shaking that ass"""

"Why hasn't any lawyer ever been bitten by a shark? Professional courtesy."

"Inception [2010, Psychological thriller] a group of people fall asleep - 148 mins"

"A combo of two classics. Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to your house. .................. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken!"

"Thought of this while making dinner Want to hear a joke about location? Nevermind. You had to be there"

"Why would Hitler have been good at call if duty? His real life kill death ratio was 7mil/1"

"When my friend told me to stop acting like a flamingo... I had to put my foot down."