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Joke of the Day

"When my friend told me to stop acting like a flamingo... I had to put my foot down."

"My girlfriend asked if I would spend a month away from her for 5000 dollars. It's tempting, but I don't think I can afford it."

"You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes"

"What's the difference between my porn stash and Call of Duty? One is full of screaming 10 year old boys and the other is Call of Duty."

"Why did the scientist regret naming the organism ""Fungus""? Because after they hung out Gus was actually a pretty boring guy."

"For all of us singles out there... Happy Ballantine's day!!"

"There once was a man named Dave... He kept a dead whore in a cave, she was missing a tit and she smelled like shit, but look at the money he saved!"

"There's two things I don't like about my sons new partner. He's black"

"The other day a clown held the door open for me. It was a nice jester."

"Did you hear about the computer that ate an entire hamburger in one go? It was a megabyte."