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Joke of the Day

"A combo of two classics. Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to your house. .................. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken!"

"I TEXTED MY BOSS... ""What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?... HE ANSWERED: ""I don't know?"" I REPLIED: ""I'm not coming in this morning!"""

"And the award for Best Actress goes to...*opens envelope*....my 4 year old daughter for her overly-dramatic scene in ""Bath Time""."

"Like I said before, I hate repeating myself"

"Today I discovered that two wrongs definitely don't make a right. Tomorrow I'm going to try three."

"I was loving the song with the great beat in the lunchroom at work today when I realized it was the dishwasher running. It's great to be me."

"Whats the difference between Aladdin lamp and women make up - nothing if you rub both you will find a freak"

"They say Napoleon got the shakes whenever he put on his uniform... Modern scholars believe he may have had epaulettesy."

"What happens when the lights go out in a Chinese restaurant? It'll Dimsum."

"Did you hear the one about the American military aviation enthusiast who bought himself a French fighter plane? He was arrested for possession of an Assault Rafale."