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Joke of the Day

"""Mom can you pick me up a new comforter at the store?"" ""Okay"" *Mom returns with Morgan Freeman* ""I love you mom"""

"We play GTA because it let's us do things we wouldn't even think about doing in real life... Like golf, tennis and yoga."

"The only person who's never seen what a chef in a pizzeria looks like is the artist who draws the cartoon chefs on pizza boxes."

"I went shopping . . . I went to the supermarket to get some groceries. When I got to the dairy section, they only had one piece of cheese left. It was provolone."

"I used to watch 7th Heaven religiously"

"I bought a backpack that was field tested... ...They didn't say anything about how well it performed on the test, but I was glad that they showed some initiative."

"Why is a banana peel on the sidewalk like music? Because if you don't C sharp you'll B flat."

"Why doesn't Captain Picard have an iPhone He already has an android, and it came with a data plan."

"/r/Pyongyang is a.... [Fun and Happy Place!]"

"My wife and I are doing role reversal to spice up our sex life... She's going to be the aggressor, and I'm going to lay there like a corpse."