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Joke of the Day

"The only person who's never seen what a chef in a pizzeria looks like is the artist who draws the cartoon chefs on pizza boxes."

"Yo mama's so fat she has titties in the front AND in the back"

"To take revenge, I'LL EAT CHINESE."

"Talk shit about Billy Joel to me & you'll get BLOCK-OCK-OCK-OCK-OCK-OCK-OCK-OCKED. You oughta know by now."

"My girlfriend doesn't give me any space in the bed, so I bought a bigger bed."

"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

"Interviewer: Where do you want to be in 5 years? Me: Oh, it doesn't matter. You will have fired me well before then."

"I could tell by the scowl on her face that her patience and botox were wearing thin."

"I'm thinking of going as a pimp for Halloween. Anybody know how the CEO of Wells Fargo dresses?"

"Why was the fisherman wealthy and prosperous? Because he was a master-baiter."