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Joke of the Day

"I bought a backpack that was field tested... ...They didn't say anything about how well it performed on the test, but I was glad that they showed some initiative."

"A family is at the table eating dinner. ""I don't like Grandpa"" said the boy to his Mom. ""That's okay honey, just finish your potatoes instead."" She replied."

"If you like to spoon, you'll love to spatula. That's where I flip you over to make certain you're done properly on both sides."

"What's common between sex on a boat and Coors Light? They are both close to water."

"I started a company that sells landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are through the roof."

"I used to think love() was abstract, until you implemented it in MyHeart."

"Him: Boo! Me: Did you just call me your Boo? Him: I was scaring you! Me: Mission accomplished. *backs away*"

"What's the definition of a Wookiee? Someone who doesn't have any expewience"

"Masturbation Just got back from competing in the Blindfolded Masturbation World Championship No idea where I came."

"Why wrap a hampster in scotch tape... so it doesn't pop when you fuck it!"