41919

Joke of the Day

"My finger broke through the toilet paper so I dunked my hand in liquid nitrogen and shattered it with a hammer."

"I had a job at a lumber yard, but I soon got board."

"Where do they make contentment? At the satis-factory."

"6, that's SIX, people emailed everyone at work with the SAME information which has resulted in 48 replies and now I wanna quit my job."

"Some people said my dog was too scared to shit itself... Then I replied ""That's why I have to beat them."""

"New study shows AMAZING new way to cut down on clickbait! Well, that wasn't it..."

"Apparently telling someone you'll catch their next wedding is unacceptable, whatevers."

"I have this weird fungal infection on my leg. I need to get rid of it, but it's kind of growing on me. (Sorry if repost, came up with it in science class today.)"

"What do you call a Mesoamerican unicorn? Unimaize"

"*running from cops* Me: hey wait hold up if we're gonna do this i really should be wearing my fitbit Cop: yeah me too good idea"