217809

Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Captain Picard have an iPhone He already has an android, and it came with a data plan."

"aesop: man what you did was not cool. like imagine if a fox did what you did to me, and i was a goose. that makes it much clearer right?"

"I could win an Olympic gold medal If the women's gymnastic balance beam was a male competition too, I could win the gold medal. I've been mastering a 4 inch wood beam since I was a little kid"

"I'm 87 but have the body of a 25-year-old supermodel But it takes up too much room in my freezer, any suggestions?"

"all right class welcome to Intro to Sitting 101. everyone have a seat. *confused whispering among class*"

"I like to help my children think up cruel nicknames for the other kids at their school."

"Hey girl, do you like trucks? Cause I got a semi."

"Friends are like boobs, some are big, some are small, some are real and some are fake."

"Google News now awards ""Badges"" for viewing stories. Also, remember: if you manage to finish one novel without pictures,...you get ice cream!"

"Where can you find lubricant in the library? In the non-friction section."