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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into an elevator and looks at the woman standing inside. He says, ""Can I smell your feet?"" She responds, ""Ew no"" ""Must be your pussy then."""

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"I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey But I turned myself around"
"A young nun is sewing a hole in a sock... ...when she pricks her finger with the needle. - Shit! - Crap, I said shit! - Damn, I said crap! - Aw, fuck it. I never wanted to become a nun, anyways."
"My favorite dad joke of all time... Why don't chickens pee? Because they eat with their pecker."
"Just saw a bumper sticker that said ""I'd rather be tweeting."" It was on a car that was flipped upside down in a ditch."
"Last night I witnessed my dad having a stroke I really wish he would lock the door when he does that."
"There are 4 black guys in a rectangular room. They divide evenly into the 4 corners. How many men are in each corner? 3/5"
"[Best man speech] I HAVE DEFEATED THE OTHER MEN IN THIS WEDDING PARTY TO EMERGE AS THE BEST, THE MICROPHONE SHALL BE MINE FOOLISH MORTALS!"
"HIM: If you're upset that people think you're weird, have you tried being less weird? ME: [eating ice cream with chopsticks] Yes."
"Meditation is fun when you want to do nothing for an hour but still feel a sense of accomplishment."