205266

Joke of the Day

"Meditation is fun when you want to do nothing for an hour but still feel a sense of accomplishment."

"Bae: Come over. Romeo: Can't. You're a Capulet, I'm a Montague. Bae: Deny thy father and refuse thy name; come over. Romeo: Also, you're 13."

"Just paid 2 dollars in quarters to put air in my tire... This inflation is out of control."

"Those ""You Are Here"" maps at bus stops are very simple in Detroit. They all just say ""Fucked."""

"I cast a spell on a girl today and it actually worked! I focused in on the girl and said ""Virginus Protectus."" It worked because she walked away with a terrified look on her face."

"What did the koalas say after getting in a fender bender? Eucalyptus."

"Why are gay men so good at holding their breath? There isnt a lot of air in a closet"

"I once dated a girl with a conch shell tattooed on her inner thigh... If you put your ear up to it you could smell the ocean"

"MOST LETTERS Q: What two words contain the most letters? A: Post office."

"Sometimes ""4 star hotel"" means 4 porn stars have stayed there. In the same room. At the same time. With a camera crew. And a goat."