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Joke of the Day

"Just saw a bumper sticker that said ""I'd rather be tweeting."" It was on a car that was flipped upside down in a ditch."

Next Joke
 
"What did the leper say to the prostitute? I left the tip on the night stand."
"I made homemade soup with the immersion blender, mostly so that I have something to talk about for the next five days."
"""At least you're going to get a lot of material out of this,"" is comedian-speak for, ""Sorry about your life, dude."""
"What kind of house does Chuck Norris live in? A roundhouse."
"Minnie asked Mickey Are you F*****g Crazy Mickey Replies 'No I'm F*****g Daisy"
"What's the stupidest joke you've ever heard?"
"How do you know a stranger could be an engineer? Don't worry they'll tell you."
"Fact: It's not masturbation if you use a puppet."
"I'm 99% sure I have trust issues. Though I'm not sure I trust my math. Edit: I grammar well"