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Joke of the Day

"What's Alex's (from 'A Clockwork Orange') preferred type of light? Ultraviolent"

"""My water-bowl wasn't filled to its usual level so I stole your watch and peed in your shoes."" --Cats"

"Cat with mental disorder The psychiatrist just diagnosed my cat for having dissociative identity disorder. She now have 45 lives."

"Did you know you can see through Caitlyn Jenner? She is trans-parent."

"What do you call a person who makes surrealist sandwiches? Salvador Deli."

"I think God is for the legalization of marijuana. After all, the Bible is full of people getting stoned."

"You can never trust an atom because they make up everything"

"year 39, month 3: woke up a sentient tangle of meat and calcium again"

"I've got a friend who's a psychopath and he's got a brilliant sense of humour. He kills me!"

"[ouija board] Who are you? *board begins spelling* G-R-E-E-N--M-A-R-I-O What the -- a Luigi Board?! W-A-H-O-O--I-T-S-A--M-E"