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Joke of the Day

"[ouija board] Who are you? *board begins spelling* G-R-E-E-N--M-A-R-I-O What the -- a Luigi Board?! W-A-H-O-O--I-T-S-A--M-E"

Next Joke
 
"I'm so Italian . . . I even text with my hands."
"Woman sends emotional text that's 5 paragraphs long. Man responds with ""k."" Woman spontaneously combusts."
"Who invented tap dancing? A father with six daughters and only one bathroom! :)"
"I wear my wedding ring on my middle finger to remind me of how f*cked I am"
"What did the ghost say to the other ghost at the Halloween party? Let's get sheet-faced!"
"What's the best part about dating a homeless chick? You can drop her off wherever."
"Me:Did you have a ruff day? Dog: Me:What? That was funny! Dog: Me:Do you not like puns? Dog: Me:I think I'm high. Dog:Did you smoke my weed?"
"What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird."
"How do you know when your best friend is gay? When his dick tastes like shit"