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Joke of the Day
"Q: What did one pig say to the other? A: Let's be pen pals!"
Next Joke
"Saw a Ringneck Dove in our garden... ... so I wrung its neck."
"Have you heard about that new pirate movie?? It's rated AHRRRRRRRRR!"
"Let me put things into perspective for you. persp(things)ective"
"[arguing with my wife] WELL AT LEAST I DON'T BRING UP THINGS FROM THE PAST LIKE YOU DID LAST MONTH"
"Sometimes you just need a cunning linguist to get a tiny pianist joke. [[ Obligatory text]]"
"What's John Lennon's favorite card game? Yoko Uno"
"What do you call a new gym opening up in the finance district Capital Gains"
"Some of you are giving nihilistic pessimism a bad name... And I don't care for it."
"[chess tournament] RIVAL: [plays move] ME: [knocks board aside. punches rival in face] Chess! COMMENTATOR: He's won every round this way"