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Joke of the Day

"Somebody actually complimented me on my parking today. They left a note on the windscreen. It said, ""Parking fine"", so that was nice."

"Caller: Finally! I got through! I've been trying to call the zoo for hours! Zookeeper: Yes all our lions were busy!"

"Did you hear about the linoleum factory in France that exploded? The locals call it Linoleum Blown-apart."

"How did he get from Afghanistan to Iraq? Iran (He ran). Thought of this when looking at the world map, sorry that it's terrible."

"Not saying there is a direct correlation between Trump's election... But the Chinese did say this would be the year of the Cock ages ago!"

"(Dark humor) what's the difference between a sandwich and a dead baby? I don't fuck a sandwich before I eat it."

"Dating blacks girls is a plus because you don't have to meet their fathers"

"Why are envelopes and papers white? Because blackmail is illegal."

"PEOPLE WITH CHRONICALLY MOIST HANDS: When you have dry lips, rub them on your palms. I call it Lip palm. It's free."

"""Police! Open up!"" ""No, you're gonna yell at me"""