84785

Joke of the Day

"I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend that I do; I just stand in my room screaming ""That's not what I said!"""

"Didja hear about the coke dealer who retired? He didn't want to put his business in other peoples' noses anymore."

"A man walks into a bar.... the bar is then raised to prevent anyone else from walking into it."

"There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who know binary, those who don't, and those who didn't expect this to be in base 3."

"I'd like to think that my exes see me as ""the one who got away,"" but it's probably more like ""the one who got away from the police."""

"Don't be racist. Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!"

"Hi welcome to Hollister, would you like a flashlight?"

"Guy asked me today if I've ever owned a dog. I was like lmao yeah I own dogs all the time they can't even say shit back"

"Then a white guy laughed at his own joke with an intensity that hinted at a darkness within."

"How did ""El Chapo"" escape prison? Joaquin."