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Joke of the Day

"After watching Interstellar, I really want to buy a Lincoln."

"Boss: You're fired Me: No YOU'RE fired Boss: No Me: Yeah Boss: *starts sweating*"

"What came first, the chicken or the egg? The rooster did."

"yo mama is so fat she can sit on a t3 cable and make the internet traffic slow right down to 1 bit per day."

"What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and drives women wild ? A 100$ bill"

"""How much do you love me?"" Count the stars in the sky and that's how much I love you ""But it's so cloudy"" *pats her on the head* Yeah I know"

"I kidnapped this girl last night... And she yelled ""Please, I don't want to die a virgin!"". If that isn't consent, I don't know what is."

"Friend apologizes for mess. Friend has immaculate house. Open her closet. Out comes 78 books, a piano and a gentleman squirrel in a top hat."

"Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed...while married women come home see what's in the bed and go to the fridge."

"I keep trying to think of a bone joke But none of them are humerous"