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Joke of the Day
"People keep talking about the new Star Wars trailer. In my day, Star Wars had SPACESHIPS!"
Next Joke
"People who are ""just saying"" should try ""just shutting the fuck up."""
"What do you call a sort-of cool vegetable? A Radish"
"Jews will be celebrating Passover soon... ...to commemorate the day John Stewart was passed over for the spot on the late show."
"How does a booze thief make you feel better? He lifts your spirits."
"[at the zoo] Llama spits in my face I spit in llamas face Llama slaps me I grab llamas hair Scuffle ensues Llamas gf shouts ""leave it Gary!"""
"What's the difference between hungry and horny? (NSFW) Where you put the cucumber."
"Wore a hospital gown to work today and faked a cough for 5 minutes, and they said I could have the break room all to myself."
"""I'm frying some fish for supper, so yall come over & eat"" is what I said. ""You're also gonna be helping me move my piano"" is what I meant."
"My smart phone has a lot of capabilities, but none as valuable as being able to pretend I'm on it when I run into someone I know in public."