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Joke of the Day

"""I'm frying some fish for supper, so yall come over & eat"" is what I said. ""You're also gonna be helping me move my piano"" is what I meant."

"I think my iPhone is broken. I keep pressing the home button but I'm still at work!"

"I tell pissed off women to ""calm down"" So yeah, I'm into extreme sports."

"I enjoy much more playing lots of videogames then having sex with Emma Watson.. In that particular order."

"I think I just made the best dad joke ever. My son Robbie asked how he should get Poe into his X-wing toy. I said Wedge him. I had no one else to tell."

"Famous people could rob banks wearing masks of themselves and they'd never get caught."

"Whoever decided to print nutritional information on ice cream cartons should be arrested and tried for the murder of my happiness."

"What food describes most men? Jerky."

"What type of tea do babies drink? Tit tea "

"""Honey, it's time we talk to him about the roaches & the fleas"" ""You mean the birds & the bees?"" ""DEAR GOD WOMAN HAVE YOU SEEN HIS ROOM!"""