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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between hungry and horny? (NSFW) Where you put the cucumber."

"GOD: Peter, you will be heaven's bouncer ST PETER: What the hell, I don't want ST BERNARD (whispering): Shut up or he'll make you a dog"

"My car is nicer then my girlfriend... It's a real fairlady."

"Haters gonna hate. Procrastinaters gonna ... get back to you on that tomorrow..."

"When Ted Cruz kisses a baby, its parents have to throw it out and start over."

"How do you organize a Space Party? You Planet!"

"Apparently ""naked"" is not the answer when someone mad at you asked, how do you sleep at night?"

"A blonde asks her brunette friend... ... ""Didn't you get an HIV test last week?"" ""Yeah, it came back negative"" answered the brunette The blonde responds ""Maybe you should study next time"""

"No matter who wins the presidential election, it will be historic. We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president."

"How to spot an idiot at the gym? They put a water bottle where the Pringles go."