163974

Joke of the Day

"Hey, cooking directions on the sides of packages: Nobody knows the wattage of their microwave."

"What do you call two crows? Attempted murder"

"Have you heard about Unilevers ice cream It was their magnum opis. (Yes, I know next to no one will get this joke at all)"

"Due to flooding, my kid's school is closed. Pffft. In my day, we swam to school--uphill--both ways."

"Why wasn't the Canadian scared at the movie theater? He knew Nunavut was real."

"Waiter there is a fly in my soup ! Yes sir thats the manager the last customer was a witch doctor !"

"Nostalgic grandpa A grandfather to his grandson: when i was you age id grab $5 and get groceries for the entire week. The grandson: We can't do that now grandpa..they have cameras installed."

"Why was the geologist hungry? He had a large Apatite."

"Why do robots make bad boyfriends? They just screw, nut, then bolt."

"A dragonfly just landed on my face an I reacted the same way I'd react if an actual dragon had landed on my face."