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Joke of the Day

"A dragonfly just landed on my face an I reacted the same way I'd react if an actual dragon had landed on my face."

"Vegans think they will live longer than us, but they don't realize they are 100 times more likely to be murdered mid conversation."

"I went to a Chinese restaurant last night. I said ""Waiter, this beef is rubbery"" He said ""Thank you, I'm grad you rike it"""

"What is the difference between a Ford car and a porcupine? Porcupines have pricks on the outside."

"If you see a distressed woman in the mall screaming that she can't find her baby, don't offer to help her make another one."

"Did you blow bubbles when you were a kid? Because he's back in town looking for you."

"I want some Chuck Norris jokes! Something like: *Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.* or *Jesus may be able to walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.*"

"How does J.G. Wentworth tell you that he's hungry? ""It's my tummy, and I feed it NOW!"""

"What does a racist get for their birthday? KK-cake"

"Is it appropriate for a receptionist at a sperm clinic to tell their clients ""thanks for coming"" as they leave?"