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Joke of the Day

"Due to flooding, my kid's school is closed. Pffft. In my day, we swam to school--uphill--both ways."

"a man comes into a bar... or was it a horse? yeah i think it was a horse. so a man comes into a horse...."

"Why don't Dunkin' Donuts employees wear name tags? It wouldn't fit on their shirt."

"My friend and I were hiking... Me: ""That's a huge rock over there!"" Him: ""Boulder."" Me: **""That's a huge rock over there!""**"

"I appreciate it when my cats stand around while I clean their litter box. We're like a little road crew: one guy works, three supervise."

"*stops next to punks at red light* *stares them down, turns up The Walking Dead opening music* *light turns green, slowly accelerates*"

"What do you call a very large number of bad people? [nsfw] A Cuntry."

"[battle] ME: It's no good. We gotta quit SARGE: Quit? I don't know the meaning of the word M: It means give up S: Oh cool. Lets do that"

"Why did Santa divorce Mrs Clause? because he only came once a year"

"Reddit has become very clickbaity lately Tricked you."