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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard about Unilevers ice cream It was their magnum opis. (Yes, I know next to no one will get this joke at all)"

"Roses are brown, violets are grey I just found out I'm colorblind today."

"For the last few weeks, whenever I get into a conversation with someone... I just wanna say ""ISIS, Donald Trump, Leonardo Dicaprio, Bye."""

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? **YOU DONT KNOW YOU WEREN'T THERE!**"

"So I was applying for Art school... I made sure to remind them what happened when Hitler wasn't accepted to art school."

"The next person who calls it an ATM Machine is getting sent to the ICU Unit."

"Why did the Founding Fathers hire accountants from Prague? They needed a system of Czechs and balances."

"I'm a spitting image of Ryan Gosling. Like if Ryan Gosling were to spit and look at his reflection in it, that would be me."

"911: What's your emergency? THE BARISTO IS HAVING A STROKE 911: Barista? IT'S A GUY. BARISTO 911: No, it's still- Nm he's dead now"

"TIFU by eating my boss' sandwich and getting fired. Oops. Wrong sub."