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Joke of the Day

"Waiter there is a fly in my soup ! Yes sir thats the manager the last customer was a witch doctor !"

"What military branch has the largest biceps? The Army."

"Most people can't drink coffee then go to sleep. I'm just the opposite. . . I can't go to sleep and then drink coffee. God, that was stupid."

"PSA: DON""T BUY A TURKEY FROM RALPHS We purchased one earlier this week and it shot down a Russian warplane :("

"Which similarities do Bon Jovi and geologists share? They like rock."

"What do you call a cow that's just had a baby? De-calfinated!"

"Why does a middle eastern person not give a blowjob to an American? Because he hates Bush. ahahahah Get it George Bush ...... Ill see myself out....."

"[lips on a snake] WIFE: what are you doing? ME: getting rid of the poison WIFE: you're supposed to suck your own bite SNAKE: leave him alone"

"A bird just got trapped in our wind chimes and made the next Bon Iver record."

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world. The ones who know binary and the ones who don't."