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Joke of the Day

"My wife said she would leave me if I didn't stop using Monkee's song references. I thought she was joking. Then I saw her face..."

"What did Aaron Hernandez lose when after he got cut by the Patriots His TE"

"PMS jokes aren't funny. Period."

"Trapped in a crevice. ""Go on boy, get help."" The dog chews off my one free arm. ""Ok yeah bring that back to town I guess"""

"""Why is there sweat on my handbag?"" ""Calm down, it's just a little pursepiration."""

"I get anxious when there aren't at least 24 pieces of advertising within my field of vision."

"Why couldn't the cup of tea climb flight of stairs? Because it was too steep."

"It's one of those days where you'll be lucky not to see me on the news."

"Now that gay marriage is legal, my uncle can marry his boyfriend Dre! What a double entendre! I made this up and am very proud."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Anka ! Anka who ? Anka the ship !"