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Joke of the Day
"How do you set a woman's watch? You don't, there's already a clock on the stove."
Next Joke
"The larger the implants, the more likely she'll be confused by a push/pull door."
"I feel like a white girl prime number because I ALMOST literally can't even..."
"PASTOR: and the lord said unto uscan u stop please? it's very distracting ME: [bouncing up & down on yoga ball] i don't think he said that"
"since you're having surgery tomorrow, get here early and remember no eating after midnight ""because of nausea?"" no, because you're a gremlin"
"On my tax form I checked the single box but added ""and looking""."
"You could kidnap my mom and she'd still ask if you've eaten."
"What do you call a funny fungus? A pungi."
"Nurse: Your name, please? Me: Dr. Feelgood. Nurse: ... Me: ... Nurse: You're not a Dr. are you? Me: No, I won't make you feel good, either."
"If you jump off a bridge in Paris... They'll declare you in Seine"