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Joke of the Day

"Killing spiders is easy and fulfilling if you imagine them whispering ""You look fat in those pants""."

"Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think we care."

"What other US state can fit Kansas inside of it? Arkansas"

"Tiger Woods... ...just had the worst 9 holes in his life, well second worst if you consider the 9 holes that lost him his marriage but still..."

"[medusa's husband sighing and pulling a wad of snakes out of the shower drain]"

"""Blinding Nemo"" #BPMovies"

"DAD: [grabs chest] Quick! Call me an ambulance. ME: [hesitantly] You're... an ambulance. DAD: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son [dies]"

"Wife: you're so damn forgetful! M: oh nonsense! W: ok, did you get the cat food? M: WE HAVE A CAT??"

"Internet Explorer is so slow If this video takes any longer, the girl in it will be a legal age"

"Q: Why couldn't the cat speak? A: The dog taped his mouth."